Deadline
by Ryan Phelan
Summary: Raphael is on an urget mission, and the clock is ticking...


**Disclaimer: I'm not sure who owns the TMNT, whether it's Mirage Comics or those two guys whose names I forget. The point is, I don't own them, I just like writing stories about them. And I know you enjoy reading about them, so things work out great for everyone. **

Deadline

I don't know how I get myself into these messes.

Correction: I don't know how my brothers get me into these messes.

It's Saturday night and I'm alone in a dingy alley, shell against the wall, facing a dozen Purple Dragons on either side. Normally I would love any opportunity to bust some heads, but tonight I'm on a mission. Sitting on the rooftop above me, safely wrapped in a pile of clothes, is a disk. That disk is the reason I'm in this current predicament; if I don't get it into the right hands by midnight, there will be a price to pay.

11:00

The evening had started out quiet; I was sitting on the couch watching TV, enjoying an evening of junk food and wrestling. Mike and Leo had gone off somewhere, and Don was hard at work on his computer. By that I mean he had an actual job; with April's help he had landed a few consulting gigs with several high-profile engineering firms. I don't know what he was doing for them (all of that nerd stuff isn't my thing), but it did give us a cash flow for the first time ever. That meant no more dumpster diving for the things we needed, which was reason enough for me to agree to the request Don was about to make.

He ran in front of the television just as The Slayer was about to deliver the smack down to King Karnage, panicked, waving the disk in front of me. He begged me to take the disk back to where it belonged, that it was very important it got there by midnight. He was stuck checking coding sequences or something like that (again, I don't get nerd stuff) so he couldn't go, but if the disk wasn't there in time there would be a steep price to pay. The address wasn't too far; I figured I could be there and back before the Royal Rumble. I grabbed the disk and took off to accomplish this important yet simple mission.

Too bad when you're a ninja turtle, things are rarely simple.

11:03

I could have taken the shell cycle, but because it was such a nice warm night I opted to take the rooftop route. I was happily running along minding my own business, making great time, until I heard a cry for help. I followed it to the edge of the building and peered into the alley below. A woman was being mugged by a couple of punks, so I swooped down the fire escape and kicked their butts before their pea brains could figure out what was happening. The woman thanked me by screaming and running away, leaving me standing there holding her purse. Naturally that was the cue for the cops to show up.

The cruiser tore into the alley, lights and sirens blazing. I jumped onto the fire escape and sprinted straight up; the cops barely had time to shout a single threat before I disappeared over the rooftop. Unfortunately, it was the wrong rooftop; to reach my destination I would have to jump over the alley. I cautiously peered over the edge to see what the cops were doing. There were two of them staring upwards with a look of disbelief, trading theories about what they just saw. But there was also a third person present, one that sent a jolt of panic through me. Only one human on the planet can cause that kind of reaction in a ninja turtle, someone more dangerous than the Purple Dragons and The Foot combined…

A TV cameraman.

He was standing next to the open door of the cruiser's backseat, slowly swerving the camera back and forth along the rooftop. I quickly ducked back into the shadows, heart pounding, and listened carefully to the voices floating up from below. The cameraman's voice was young and filled with excitement; he babbled on about how he got the whole thing on tape, and to heck with the reality show that hired him, he was going to get his own network special. I took several deep breaths and frantically tried to think of how I was going to get that tape. I guess I must have really ticked off some Almighty Being in the past, because at that moment the sharp electronic voice of the police dispatcher echoed off the alley walls, instructing all units to respond to an armed robbery in progress. The cops and that cameraman jumped into the car and sped off. I was after them in a flash.

11:12

The car easily outran me, but luckily I had heard the dispatcher rattle off the address; I arrived to find several black-and-whites parked outside a mini-mart. I spotted the young cameraman getting out of the car and watched him take out the videotape, put it in the backseat, and pop a fresh one into his camera. He then slammed the car door and joined the cops, all of whom were concentrating on the drama unfolding in the store. I couldn't believe my luck; slowly, quietly, I crept over to the cruiser. The door was locked, but it was nothing a few turns with the sai couldn't fix. In seconds I was in the car, the tape within my grasp.

Then all hell broke loose.

The doors to the mini-mart burst open and the robber came out, armed with a hunting knife and dragging along a terrified female hostage. The cops could only watch as he shoved the woman into a police cruiser, slid behind the wheel and drove off. Little did the slime ball know he had an extra passenger.

The robber sped through the city's streets like a demented NASCAR driver, barely missing both cars and pedestrians as he weaved his way through traffic. I knew I had to stop the scum before someone got hurt, so I sat up behind him and got his greasy head in a headlock. Not the smartest thing I've ever done; he immediately put the pedal to the metal, using one hand to (barely) steer while trying to slash me with the other. For several blocks we wrestled for control, the hostage's screams mixing with the screams of metal scraping against metal as we sideswiped every car we passed. The blade sliced across my shell a few times before I could grab it, adding to the millions of battle scars I already carry on my back. No matter how often that happens, it ticks me off every time! I pushed off the backseat and slammed the guy's head into the steering wheel, knocking him out cold. However, his lead foot was still in place, and we were speeding right towards a bus. I grabbed the wheel and jerked it hard to the left, missing a head-on collision but driving the car straight into a newsstand which, thankfully, had closed hours earlier.

I knew it would be only a matter of minutes before a curious crowd gathered, so I grabbed the videotape and slid it into my belt right where the disk should have been. That's when I noticed the disk was gone! I frantically searched the backseat but found nothing. I then asked the hostage if it was in the front seat, but she responded by screaming some more, shoving the front door open and running for her life. Just once I wish they would show a little gratitude; Instead, I'm stuck checking the front of the car myself as people began to gather. I found nothing, so after making sure the videotape was secure in my belt I bolted from the car to the nearest dark alley.

11:35

The last place I remembered having the disk was right before I came to the rescue of that first woman. I hitched a ride on the roof of a cross town bus back to the mini-mart and retraced my steps from there, ending up back in the alley where this whole mess started. A thorough search of the alley and the rooftop turned up nothing, but I did find something else that wasn't there before: fresh graffiti, courtesy of the Purple Dragons. I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I guessed that my disk was now in their slimy hands. I knew there was a Dragon hangout nearby; it was a long shot, but I was out of options, and very quickly running out of time.

11:41

Ya gotta love clotheslines; when you need a disguise in a hurry, there's always something hanging out to dry. Dressed in a hip-hop outfit, I approached the old dry cleaning store that now served as a nesting place for a whole lot of big vermin. I slipped in unnoticed and cased the joint; Dragons were everywhere, playing pool or watching TV and knocking back a few. They were watching the same wrestling match I had been less than an hour earlier; as much as it burned me to find out that I actually had something in common with these creeps, at least it kept them distracted. I scanned the room but saw nothing at first; I was about to give up hope when I spotted the disk lying on top of a makeshift bar. I casually walked over, scooped up the disk, and made my way to the door.

Suddenly one of the big apes stepped in front of me, cracking his knuckles and trying to look tough. He ordered me to fork over the disk, and I very politely told him to get stuffed. He threw a punch at me, which I easily blocked and countered by tossing him across the room. Unfortunately he landed on the TV, which immediately got the other Dragons riled up and itching to fight. As much as I wanted to take 'em all on, I knew Don would have my shell if I didn't deliver that disk by midnight. I turned and ran out the door with the whole gang on my heels.

Knowing I'd be better off on the rooftops, I sprinted into the alley between the dry cleaners and an abandoned building. Disk firmly in hand, I jumped onto a dumpster and leaped onto the fire escape. I was almost to the top when that Higher Being decided to have some more fun with me; the videotape slipped out from under my belt, slid down my pants leg and bounced off the railing a couple of times before landing in the alley, which was now full of Dragons. After pausing to mutter several curses, I stripped off the clothes and put them on the roof along with the disk. Armed with both sais, I dove into a sea of Purple.

11:50

Even through there were only twenty-four Dragons, fighting them was taking more time than I thought. Again and again my feet connected with Dragon heads and guts and my sais blocked their bats and chains, but they just kept coming. The deadline was looming but I couldn't bail until had the videotape; it was sitting right next to the dumpster, but every time I made a move for it I found myself having to block an attack or three. Then it finally hit me; I didn't have to grab the tape, just destroy it. I quickly targeted the biggest, heaviest Dragon and made a not-so-nice comment about his mother. His face turned red and he charged me like a mad bull, but I leaped over him and gave him a good hard kick in the back. He barreled out of control, taking out several of his friends before crashing into the wall and landing squarely on the tape.

Of course I had to make sure the tape was toast, so as I smacked down a few more Dragons I taunted Tiny some more. Dazed but still conscious, he staggered to his feet and charged me again. This time I sidestepped and the oaf hit the other wall, but not before he knocked over a few more of his buddies. I kicked and punched my way over to the dumpster to get a good look at the tape. My plan had worked; the tape was now in a million pieces. However, I didn't even have time to breathe a sigh of relief since I was now boxed in. Having a shell to the wall (or dumpster) left little room for offense; all I could do was fend off their attacks and hope an opportunity to escape would soon present itself.

Luckily, Tiny still wanted to play. He stomped over, throwing aside one Dragon after another to get to me. But the other Dragons wanted a piece of me too, and they didn't take kindly to Tiny pushing them around. The next thing I knew, an all-out Dragon brawl erupted. Taking advantage of the distraction, I climbed back onto the rooftop, grabbed the disk and took off.

11:59

Ever try running twenty blocks in seven minutes after fighting a gang of thugs? I wouldn't recommend it. By the eighteenth block my heart was pounding in my ears and my lungs felt like they were about to explode. My vision was starting to blur when I finally arrived at the address; or rather, in the alley directly across the street from the address. Humans were out enjoying the nightlife in droves, making it impossible for me to cover that last bit of distance. Not a problem when you're a ninja; with an expert flick of the wrist, I sent that disk flying through the delivery slot in the door just as the numbers on the clock changed over to midnight. Score another last-minute victory for the green guy!

12:26

I took my time getting home, stopping to return the clothes I borrowed along the way. A very anxious Don greeted me as I trudged into the lair. He watched as I flopped down on the couch, waiting for me to answer the obvious question that hung in the air.

"Relax boy genius, I got the DVD back to the video store before they closed," I said as I turned on the TV. "But next time you can just pay the late fee."

THE END


End file.
